Custom of not addressing married women

The Custom of not addressing married women is a social tradition observed at the Al-Fayoum Oasis, a neutral territory in the desert where Santiago and the Englishman arrive after crossing the Sahara. The custom dictates that men should not converse with women who are dressed in black, as they are married women, and that this tradition must be respected. It is a rule of conduct that Santiago learns through a direct, awkward experience when he is trying to locate the alchemist.

The Encounter at the Well

When Santiago and the Englishman first arrive at the oasis, they spend a day searching for the alchemist on their own, finding nothing. The Englishman, reluctant to reveal his purpose to strangers, finally agrees that Santiago, who speaks better Arabic, should ask someone. Santiago approaches a woman who has come to the well to fill a goatskin with water and asks, "Good afternoon, ma'am. I'm trying to find out where the alchemist lives here at the oasis." The woman says she has never heard of such a person and hurries away. Before she flees, she advises the boy that he had better not try to converse with women who are dressed in black, because they are married women, and he should respect tradition. This is the first and only time the custom is explicitly stated in the narrative.

The Custom's Function and Significance

The custom functions as a social boundary that protects the privacy and status of married women in the desert community. It is a tradition that Santiago, as a foreigner, must learn and observe, and it underscores the cultural differences he encounters on his journey. The custom also serves as a narrative device that forces Santiago to find another way to locate the alchemist, leading him to ask a man instead. This man, an older Arab carrying a small bucket, tells Santiago that if such a man exists at the oasis, he must be very powerful, and that not even the tribal chieftains can see him when they want to. The custom, therefore, indirectly guides Santiago toward the correct method of inquiry and deepens the mystery surrounding the alchemist.

Thematic Significance

The Custom of not addressing married women is one of several traditions and rules that Santiago encounters on his journey, including the law of hospitality, the neutrality of oases, and the prohibition of arms at the oasis. These traditions are presented as part of the "Tradition" that the tribal chieftains uphold, which they say "saved Egypt from famine in those days, and made the Egyptians the wealthiest of peoples." The custom, like these other rules, is a manifestation of the social order that Santiago must navigate. It also highlights the theme of respect for local customs and the importance of learning the "language without words" that governs human interactions, a lesson Santiago has been absorbing since his time with the sheep and the crystal merchant. The custom is a small but concrete example of the many cultural barriers that Santiago must overcome in his pursuit of his Personal Legend.